The Empty Nest Identity Crisis: When Parenting Changes

Many parents experience what psychologists call the empty nest identity crisis — a period where their role, routines, and sense of purpose suddenly shift.

Not long ago, we joined that group of parents. Our nest turned empty.

We have three children, and our youngest moved out at the age of 21.

My adjustment to the empty nest identity crisis didn’t start when she moved out. It actually began years ago when my first daughter left home.

And honestly?

I’m still adjusting.

The empty nest syndrome refers to the mixed feelings parents experience when their children leave home.

This transition is a natural stage in parenting, much like the challenges discussed in my article about supporting children to become independent.

The empty nest crisis It’s a strange emotional cocktail: Part celebration. Part grief.

One moment you’re thinking:

“Yay! I did a good job. They’re independent!”

And the next moment:

“Wow… they’re gone.”

I often imagine the small nest where birds raise their young. Everything is busy, noisy, alive. Then one day the young birds fly away and the nest remains… empty and quiet.

I’m not sure how birds feel when their babies leave.

But I can tell you how parents feel.

It’s hard.

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Co-Sleeping Safety: A Warm Bed or a Slippery Slope?

co-sleeping safety parent and child sleeping together peacefully

Co-sleeping safety, the practice of parents sharing a bed with their children, has sparked ongoing debate for years. I remember the conversation when I gave birth to my own daughter, later on when I had an early childhood center, in my work with parents, and now… as a grandmother.

Don’t you look at a photo of a parent cuddling a sleeping child and feel those fuzzy, warm feelings? I know I do.

And yet… feelings are not always the full story.

Warm feelings can comfort us, but they can also distract us from asking the harder questions.

When I look at co-sleeping safety, I don’t just see comfort. I also see the long-term cost.

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Parenting and Friendship: Why You Shouldn’t Be Your Child’s Best Friend

parent child relationship showing healthy parenting and friendship boundaries

When working with parents about their parenting style, I meet many parents disappointed with their relationship with their children.

And surprisingly, the problem often comes from the same place. Too many parents hold the false belief that they can become their children’s best friends.

They can’t. And more importantly, they shouldn’t.

This confusion between parenting and friendship is becoming more common in modern families. Parents want closeness. They want trust. They want their children to feel comfortable sharing their lives.

Children do not need another friend. They need a parent.

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Help Your Anti-Social Child Develop Strong Social Skills

anti-social child sitting alone at playground watching other children play

Parents come to me and say “I have an anti-social child”.

Most parents understand something very important about life: children with good social skills tend to be happier and more successful.

It begins early in childhood. The children who learn how to connect, communicate, and build friendships often grow into adults who find relationships easier, handle challenges better, and even live longer.

In fact, researchers have been studying the connection between social skills and well-being for decades. Psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad (2010) conducted a large study examining social relationships and health outcomes. She found that people with strong social connections had a 50% higher chance of living longer compared to those who were socially isolated.

That’s huge.

But what happens when you have an anti-social child?

What if your child prefers to stay alone, struggles to connect with others, or avoids social situations altogether?

Before we panic, we need to understand something very important.

Social skills exist on a spectrum.

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Is Free Choice Real? How Pressure Affects Our Decisions

The concept of free choice has been examined since the dawn of time across all traditions and philosophies. At any moment of life, we are constantly choosing. We are choosing what to say, what to think, what to do, how to do it… It makes me wonder: do we truly have free choice?

The question here is not about choice but about freedom.

We always have a choice, but we don’t always have free choice. Even choosing not to choose is still a choice.

The concept of free choice has fascinated philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual traditions for thousands of years. The debate between free will and determinism has never been fully resolved.

Even in the Bible, after Cain killed his brother Abel, God told him that he had the freedom to choose, but did he?

For centuries, you can see many books and movies focusing on the same dilemma.

Do we really have free choice, or are our decisions determined by forces we cannot see?

As a life coach, I teach people to choose every day. I can tell you that as a mother, I do exactly the same thing. My eldest is now 37 years old, and I have practiced teaching her to choose for many years.

I chose the slogan “Happiness is a Choice” for my Be Happy in Life business many years ago because choosing is a big thing for me. I believe in all my heart that happiness is a choice but maybe it is not a free choice.

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The Magic Ratio of Give and Take in Relationships

Hugging is an equal act of giving and taking in relationship

In any relationship, there is a give and take. If we want a relationship to work, the balance between giving and taking needs to suit both parties. If one party is giving all the time and feel they take nothing or take less, this is when trouble begins.

Most people think that give and take needs to be equal. I think it can’t because the definition of equal is different to different people. Do we speak the same words? Do we complement exactly the same amount? Do we take turns causing heartache and pain? Or giving gifts?

Let’s explore this idea of “give and take” in relationships and figure out the magic ratio.

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Weak Generation Myth: Why Every Generation Thinks the Next One Is Weaker

Every generation seems convinced that the next one is weaker. Less resilient. Less committed. Less capable.

And every generation is wrong.

Every generation calls the following one the weak generation.

If you look back honestly, you’ll see the pattern repeating itself again and again. Parents complained about their children. Teachers complained about their students. Elders complained about “kids these days.” Not because the next generation was failing or truly a weak generation — but because the world had changed, and the old tools no longer fit the new reality.

Plato complained that young people had bad manners and no respect for authority. Socrates worried that writing would weaken memory. Parents once feared novels, then radio, then television, then video games, and now screens.

The fear is always the same: “They have it too easy. They won’t cope. They are weaker than we were. They are a weak generation.”

I remember my dad saying it about my generation. Every generation says that because things were simpler in their generation and they believe the younger generation are slack, spoiled, and living an easy life.

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How Silence Improves Mental Health and Clarity

Quiet reflection showing how silence improves mental health

We live in a world that rarely pauses. Notifications, conversations, responsibilities, and expectations follow us everywhere. In this constant noise, our mental health is often the first thing to suffer.

What many people don’t realize is that one of the most powerful and accessible tools for emotional wellbeing is silence. Research, psychology, and lived experience all point to the same conclusion: silence improves mental health.

Silence is not emptiness. It is a state where the nervous system can settle, emotions can be processed, and clarity can emerge. When external noise fades, the internal world becomes more visible. This is why silence improves mental health not only by reducing stress, but by increasing self-awareness, emotional regulation, and inner stability.

As the final chapter in The Power of Silence series, this article brings everything together. We explore how silence improves mental health, strengthens emotional intelligence, supports decision-making, and helps us reconnect with ourselves in a sustainable, realistic way.

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Turn on Your Motivation Switch with the Dopamine Reward System

I have been researching motivation for over 40 years. It started when I studied special education and realized that teaching people things without their ability to absorb it is a waste of energy. It was the first time ever I have learned about the motivation switch.

I was learning teaching techniques which were wonderful, but what made them successful was not my skills only but the person’s ability to receive.

This led me to the greatest philosophy in all my career. “It is not about what I have to give you, but what you are able to take”.

Motivation determines the ability to take what the world outside gives us. Motivation gives us the ability to be able to recognize what the world outside of us offers and only then the process of “taking” becomes active.

In my book “motivating kids” I explained how to turn on the motivation switch for children. In this post, I want to explain the brain function that builds this motivation from the inside and give you tricks and techniques to turn the motivation switch and stimulate motivation internally.

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Mindfulness for Kids: Teaching Children the Gift of Silence

Child practicing mindfulness for kids during a quiet moment by the window

Silence is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our kids, yet it’s also one of the rarest. In a world full of notifications, background chatter, rushing, and constant stimulation, children rarely have the space to hear their own thoughts — or their own hearts. That’s why mindfulness for kids has become such an important tool.

And at the centre of that mindfulness, sits silence.

Silence is more than the absence of noise. It’s a gentle teacher. It teaches kids to slow down, pay attention, and understand themselves. It builds self-regulation, confidence, emotional maturity, and resilience — skills that stay with them for life.

In the silence series, I covered many aspects of the importance of silence in life. In this chapter, we’ll explore mindfulness for kids, why silence is essential for children’s emotional growth, how to introduce it without force, playful ways to help kids enjoy stillness, and simple quiet rituals you can bring into your home.

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