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Baby Hope

The 2009 Weblog Awards

… I spent hours closing my eyes and trying to wake up in a different life, where the scar is not so painful. I knew what it meant to have a broken heart. I was broken, damaged, feeling like my body had failed me. I had been through a caesarian section and I was in such emotional pain I felt nothing at all.

“I have Eden”, I told myself, trying to find some comfort. Our house was in a total silence. We had to take the new crib back to the store and pack all the little things we had already put in the baby’s room. I was grateful I didn’t have to take care of the funeral arrangements – Gal did that with Eden. The thought of him choosing a tiny coffin was too hard for me and I tried closing my eyes, but that did not help.

This post is part 2 of 7 in the series 35-hour Baby

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35-hour Baby

Cute Baby

I have been writing this blog for over two years now and published more than 500 posts about parenting, but I know I have been skipping a big part of my own parenting. I have been skipping this part deliberately, not because I think it is not important, but because it is too important to write about it lightly. Writing about it means I need to open my heart and as all heart surgeries go, it may bleed.

Do you remember the last scene in the movie The Sixth Sense, when the kid tells his mom, “I’m ready to communicate”? I think I feel the same now. I am ready to open my heart and tell you about some of the defining moments in my life as a parent. It is long and a bit painful, so I think I will do it in installments.

It was on the 39th week of my pregnancy. I woke Gal up and told him my water had broken.

This post is part 1 of 7 in the series 35-hour Baby

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I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane

Today, I am flying overseas to see my two new 7-month-old nephews for the first time! In the last 7 months, I have seen them in photos and on Skype video calls (thank God for Skype), but when I hold them in my hands, kiss them, hug them and smell them (and their mothers, my two sisters), I will cry for joy.

Both these nephews are the first children of my 36- and 42-year-old sisters and because of the mothers’ age and the pressure of a tough pregnancy of the older sister they are obviously very precious babies. Look at them! I think they know how precious they are. These photos are their real photos with the permission of their mothers.

For one of my sisters, this baby is precious for another reason.

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Bad Start for Parenting

When I saw Nathan, I did not really understand who she was talking about. He stayed at our place many times, played well with my daughter and I really did not know what Leanne was talking about. The list of troubles she had with him seemed endless.

“When I talk to him, I need to say the same thing five times before he understands what I am saying”, she complained, “It is so hard to get him to sleep. Toilet training was so hard and dragged for such a long time. You should see him at the dinner table – he has no manners at all. Getting him dressed in the morning takes forever. He has no respect for my stuff and he can go to my cosmetics and use them for his art project. My car is such a mess because of him. I hate going to the supermarket with him, I go by myself on late-night shopping days. With him, every shopping is a nightmare”.

Every time she talked about Nathan, it was as if she was describing some psychopath and he was just a 5-year-old kid.

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Telling Parents the Truth (3)

When Amanda had her second child, she invited us to stay over for the weekend. Her older son, who was at the same age as Eden, was the most wonderful kid and we got to their place to see Eleanor, who was a 3-month-old baby. Eleanor was gorgeous and while Eden and Amanda’s son went to play, we spent a wonderful weekend talking to Amanda and her husband Peter. All day long, Eleanor was either in their arms or crying. I had heard many crying babies, but I had never heard any baby cry that much. Amanda said she had been like that since she was born.

This post is part 3 of 4 in the series Telling Parents the Truth

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Mature Parents Having Babies

A couple of mature parents with their young children

This year, when my sister had her first baby at the age of 41, we had a discussion about the oldest age that is still reasonable for mature parents to have kids.

I had Eden at the age of 24 and I was convinced Gal and I were the first parents in our class, but last year, when we met our high school friends after many years, I was surprised to discover that some of them had kids older or closer to Eden’s age.

Since I had my first child 20 years ago, society has changed and 24 is now considered an early age to have kids in many places. Statistically, people now have fewer kids and start having them when they are older.

There are many advantages to having kids early, and as many disadvantages. Similarly, there are many advantages to having kids late, and just as many disadvantages.

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Kids Need Friends

Many couples choose for the man to work and “win the bread” and for the woman to stay at home and raise the kids until they are old enough to go to school. Often having 3 kids 1-2 years apart, the woman saves the family child care money for 7 years and then returns to the workforce.

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My Psychic Mom (5)

Both my sisters were in their late thirties. One was living with her partner and was going through a very frustrating fertility treatment that took over two years without much success, while the other was slowly progressing in her relationship with her new boyfriend.

This post is part 5 of 6 in the series My Psychic Mom

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My Psychic Mom (4)

When someone tells you weird things, you think they are “psycho” or “mental”, but if you later find out what they told you was true, then you start questioning your “psycho” theory and allowing for the possibility there might be something there. When the weird things they tell you come true again and again, you start believing that the person (in my case, my mom) is psychic and has unusual abilities.

This post is part 4 of 6 in the series My Psychic Mom

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How to Choose the Perfect Baby Name

There are many reasons to choose a name for a baby. My dad used to say the kids make their name special and it does not really matter what name it is. If Mom and Dad love the kid, their love will be expressed every time they call his or her name.

For a name to be perfect, it needs to fulfill the parents’ needs. When the name fulfills their needs, the parents feel they have made a perfect decision.

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