Life Coaching Category

Postings about life coaching programs for individuals – things you need to know when choosing a good llife coach and a good program that will guarantee your success and happiness

Amazing Awakened Spirit in a Beautiful Teenager

Teen boy's face and hand appearing out of darkness

Teens have a bad reputation. People often label them as rebellious, difficult and even troubled. Over the years, I’ve worked with many teens, and some of them have an awakened spirit that blew me away.

Jordan was a 17-year-old boy who came to see me because he had some difficulties with his parents. When I read his parents’ description of him, and the description he had written about himself, I knew he was different. No doubt about it. I just didn’t know how much.

His parents wrote he had been clingy as a child, had no friends, didn’t listen to them and had no direction in life. But when I read his own description, I was very confused. The way he described himself – his desires, challenges and what he wanted from his coaching – was in total contradiction to what his parents wrote about him. This was an issue for sure.

This post is part [part not set] of 19 in the series From the Life Coaching Deck

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Exciting Letters from a Reader: Body, Mind and Gratitude

Recently, I had an opportunity to correspond with one of my readers who found treasures in my blog. She managed to change her life and the life of her family just by following some of my practical tips.

I was very happy, grateful and honored to read her letters. I hope that bringing them here will help you too. Consider your own attitude towards body, mind and gratitude.

I’ve changed the reader’s name to respect her privacy, but left everything else in the letters as it was.

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I Want to Become a Life Coach: What You Should Know First

As an experienced life coach, people often contact me and say, “I want to become a life coach. Teach me what to do”. If you are thinking of becoming a professional life coach too, this post is for you.

Life coaching is an uplifting and fulfilling profession. I have been doing this work, in various formats, for 32 years now. I enjoy every minute of it and find it my life’s purpose. I can highly recommend becoming a life coach as a fantastic option for those who want to help others succeed, achieve and be happy.

Why?

Because in coaching, the clients’ success is our success.

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No More Disappointment: The Biggest Loser Leads the Dance

Many forms of therapy try to help the client overcome pain. One big source of pain starts during childhood, when kids, with their lack of life experience, feel that they are a disappointment to their parents. Here is the story of Simon, who believed he was the biggest loser in his parent’s eyes.

Simon was an angry and frustrated teenager when he came to sit with me on my life coaching deck. I read what he and his parents had written to me and felt frustrated to see how yet another whole family was a victim of circumstances. Parents’ love can be overwhelming sometimes and being unaware of feelings and lacking the ability to manage them sabotages the relationships at home.

Parents need courage to realize that they are the most powerful in this dysfunctional dynamic, but most of them feel helpless and send their kids to be “fixed”. A relationship with a child is a dance. Some parents do not understand that they need to lead.

This post is part 17 of 19 in the series From the Life Coaching Deck

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Life Coaching Tips: Quote Cards

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goal, adjust the action - Confucius

Today, I would like to share with you, my coaches and mentoring clients (and even parents) a tool I have for working with my life-coaching clients. This tool is also useful for every form of therapy and even for teaching and parenting. This tool is quote cards.

Sometimes, it is hard to start a discussion with children, teens or adult clients, and we want the messages to appear as if they are coming from somewhere else and not from us. Quotes are a wonderful way to do that.

Generally, quotes are a wonderful tool in motivation, because they typically communicate an idea powerfully using a very short and concise format. Many times, when you read or hear a great quote, it reinforces a belief you already have, or already want to have, and you think, “I couldn’t have said it better”.

In coaching, our goal is to help our clients switch from one emotional or mental state to another. We need to be very careful about helping them get to where they want to go, not to where we think they should go. This is why getting to know them and their coaching targets is essential to our work.

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There Are No Hopeless Teens

As a teen, I faced many challenges with how the system viewed my abilities. Since then, I got a degree in Special Education and promised myself that no teen that crossed my path would ever be hopeless. Over the last 30 years, I have had the honor of working with many teens who were given up by the system and have done my best to act on my promise.

A young boy (let’s call him Aaron) came to see me 3 years ago. He was a tall and handsome young teen in a big body. He was in 10th grade and his mom was very worried about him. She raised him by herself, together with his youngest brother after a very challenging breakup.

Aaron attended one of the most prestigious private high schools, located over an hour and half’s drive from his home and his academic scores were low. He was failing in most of the subjects. He also got in trouble with every teacher possible and had no friends.

Every day was a challenge. In the morning, Aaron refused to go to school. In the afternoon, he refused to do his homework. The school told his mom that Aaron was hopeless. But he was just was a smart kid that was lost in the system.

This post is part 15 of 19 in the series From the Life Coaching Deck

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Stop Making More Money

Pay attention written in dollar note pattern

Liam was a very handsome man. When he entered my life coaching deck, I didn’t believe he was almost 40 years old. He looked 25 and I wondered what kind of woman would leave such a great-looking guy. On his client details form, he wrote that he had two boys and that his wife had left home suddenly and took the boys with her.

If he was the first man who came to coaching because his wife had left all of a sudden, I would have thought that something was wrong with his wife. Who on Earth leaves home all of a sudden? With two boys? After 12 years of marriage? But Liam was not the first and, unfortunately, will not be the last man whose wife left all of a sudden.

During the initial assessment of his life, he told a story of a great love, two well established professionals, parenting maturely, living in their own house and even owning an investment property. Their life was the ultimate picture of a perfect marriage.

“When did the relationship start shaking?” I asked Liam, trying to find the most reasonable explanation for “all of a sudden”. He said that it had started when his youngest daughter was born, about 4 years earlier, and then he told me the typical story of a marriage that brings wives to leave “all of a sudden”.

He worked until 8 or 9pm some days. He worked on weekends. His main goal was to make more money. For every problem he had at home, his solution was making more money. When his wife wanted him to take a day off and spend time with the family, his mind went straight to “If I made enough money, I wouldn’t have to go to work so many hours and then I could be with my family”.

This post is part 14 of 19 in the series From the Life Coaching Deck

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Don’t Put Labels on Kids

This story illustrates the danger in putting labels on people. I hope it will show you why I always tell parents “Don’t put labels on kids”.

This week, I met Lena, 22-year-old girl who was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. She was so anxious she was afraid to run in the park because “people look at her.” She came to see me through a referral, with the support of her mom who was a doctor and was exhausted form seeing so many doctors and so many therapists and psychologists.

When I asked her mom, “What do you mean by ‘so many’?” she said that Lena had been in treatment for 10 years and been taking medication for that long.

“Does the medication help?” I asked.

“No”, she said, “She is at home, in her room, afraid to leave the house and the medication does nothing at all. If anything, things only got worse over the years”.

“Then why aren’t you considering stopping the medication?” I asked.

“Her doctor thinks things will get worse without it”.

Catch 22, right?

When Lena came, I could no longer discuss the issue with her mom, because legally, Lena was an adult and I had the privacy obligation not to discuss her coaching with anyone else. When she came, I tried to figure out what happened that had gotten her to where she was and things fad gotten so out of hand to the point of shutting herself at home and refusing to leave.

This post is part 13 of 19 in the series From the Life Coaching Deck

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Shoes for Orphan Souls: When Giving is Receiving

When I was a kid, we had only two pairs of shoes each and most of them were “hand me downs” from older siblings and relatives. We sometimes got new shoes as birthday presents. When we asked for sports shoes that we needed for school, our parents would say that we should think about all kids in Africa who had nothing to eat, because for them, shoes were a luxury.

One day, when Noff asked for new shoes yet again, I said to her that while hers still sat on the shelf, kids in Africa would benefit from the shoes that were too small for her, which were in a perfect condition. I didn’t know then how true my words were.

Last year, I found out about a project called Shoes for Orphan Souls run by an organization in Texas whose focus is on giving shoes to orphans around the world. Shoes are very useful for kids in remote areas, where they need to walk for hours to bring water, to attend school or to reach a medical facility, and can contribute to better health.

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The Placebo Effect: How to Treat Your Kids for Free

“Using the placebo effect on kids is an effective technique to help them go through tough periods in their lives.”

This may seem like a bold statement, but when I learned about the placebo effect during my special education studies, I realized that the placebo effect activates the natural “pharmacy” we have in our bodies. When we believe something to be true, we make it true. It works the same when we take a physical tablet and when when we take an emotional tablet.

The more I explain what life coaching and emotional intelligence are, the more I realize how important the placebo effect is for my work. Most of my work is to plant positive ideas and beliefs in the minds of my clients. Once they hold on to those beliefs or ideas, I have done my job in setting them up for a better future.

The placebo effect works in the same way. You can plant an idea in your kids’ mind that they can do something, be healthy or be smart by giving them a sugar pill and telling them it will help them do or be what they want.

Actually, the placebo effect works for kids even when you apply it to their parents by convincing them that their kids are amazing and talented, because your pill will help them…

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