When I examine the hardest moments of my life, I find a thread of difficulty in all of them – fighting time.
Have you ever looked at the watch again and again, only to find that 30 seconds had passed? I think humans have a real challenge with the notion of time. Time is not very consistent with the feeling of waiting for something to happen.
When we are happy, time seems to fly quickly and all our attempts to freeze the moment for a bit longer result in total failure. When we are down or waiting for something to happen, it is almost as if the clock ticks in . s l o w . m o t i o n.
Feels familiar?
Patience is the art of hoping
Marquis de Vauvenargues
The P Inhaler
I think I have found the cure for this inconsistency. It is called “patience”. It is kind of a strange cure, almost like vitamins. The less we have of it in our body, the more we need it.
You will be very surprised to know that just last month, I had to take large doses of my own medicine, unwillingly of course, but it helped me heal a bit.
Today, I would like to share with you some insights I have learned about this medicine, which I call The P Inhaler.
Waiting was never one of my strongest skills and the universe has sent me some tough moments over the years (some were cruel lessons) only to teach me that there is no limit to the human spirit and that hope is the best cure.
When people say “time heals all wounds”, they actually mean it, but we need lots of patience to allow time to heal. Sometimes, we suffer just small wounds disguised as disappointments, frustration, feeling helpless and not knowing what the future holds and the only way to cross to the other side is only to wait and let time and circumstances work their magic.
You must understand that for me, the great believer in taking decisive action to reach a desired destination, waiting is the total opposite. Over the years, to survive this contradiction between doing things and waiting for them (to fall from the heavens), I have started to use my “patience inhaler” and added some strong beliefs to handle uncertainty.
One of them, my main weapon against waits that drag on forever is:
Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end
6 lessons I have learned in the past month about patience
Last month, many things reached completion and my belief was proven again to be a powerful tool for surviving long waits. You see, waiting is hard mainly because we are not fortune tellers and we need to handle the feeling of uncertainty. Uncertainty is probably the real sickness humans need a cure for.
Last month, I celebrated many exciting events. I survived waiting for them thanks to my P inhaler. Here are 6 of them.
Lesson 1
For 4 years, I waited for my daughter Eden to start her University studies. Although I knew she had all the right ingredients to go through higher education (curiosity, being so smart and successful at school, her love of knowledge and her desire to study Psychology since she was 11), when she finished Grade 12 (very well) at the age of 16 (told you she was smart), she did not go to study at all.
After some time, she completed a Diploma in Event Management (brilliantly), but was very frustrated with the low level of the course and I needed lots of patience to watch her dream disappear.
Later, she spent time around people who hardly finished Grade 10 and she started saying, “Maybe my grades aren’t good enough … Maybe it’s too late for me to study … Maybe I’ve lost the drive … A degree in Psychology takes too long”, and university seemed even farther away.
For about a year and a half, I used my P inhaler every week or so (sometimes I forgot). During some months, I used my P inhaler every day or two.Last month, Eden finally started studying Psychology at one of the 6 best university Psychology departments in the world. Her grades were perfect and she got her first choice of courses. She even got to start during second semester.
Of course, she is doing brilliantly and having a great time, despite also having a full time job.
Lesson 2
5 months ago, I bought an instant soup packet from the supermarket and on it was a promotion to receive a cup with your choice of writing on it. Since Eden and I think ahead, we decided to write on the cup something for Gal’s birthday, which was 6 weeks later.Secretly, we went online and ordered the cup.
The confirmation said it would arrive in 4 weeks.4 weeks later, the cup had not arrived. I took a bit of my P inhaler. 2 more weeks passed and the cup had not arrived, so I wrote the company and received a reply. “Sorry, we had too many requests and you will receive your cup in another 4 weeks”.
I was very upset. I thought they were saying, “Sorry, we’ve sold such enormous quantities of the soup packets, we are too busy counting the money we have made, so we don’t have time to provide what we’ve promised”.
Anyway, I took another dose of my P inhaler and agreed with Eden not to mention the cup on Gal’s birthday. 2 weeks ago (5 months after the date of purchase!), Gal brought a package from the mailbox addressed to Ronit Baras.
“What have you ordered?” he asked.
“Nothing”, I said. I did not remember ordering anything.
“Don’t open it”, Gal said, “We don’t open packages we don’t recognize”.
I felt it from the outside and gave it a shake. I could not guess what it was. It felt like something wrapped in foam inside a box.
“I think I will open it anyway”, I said (yes, I know, not a 100% responsible) and there it was Gal’s new red cup, at last!
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish
John Quincy Adams
Lesson 3
About 8 month ago, we bought a Samsung multifunction (color laser/fax/scanner) device and from the second we brought it home, we had problems with it. It blew up three ADSL splitters, while we were talking on the phone, the fax would snatch the call and start making receiving beeps and then it started printing thin black vertical lines on top of everything.
One of the main reasons for buying this machine was Samsung’s 24-hour on-site warranty, so we thought we would just activate that. Yeah, right!
We called Samsung Customer Service, but after taking their sweet time to answer, they told us we had a problem with our phone lines (how was that related to the vertical lines?), our ADSL setup or our cartridges (all original). We upgraded the firmware twice and were asked to leave our number for a callback several times, but never got a call.
For about 4 months, we sent our quality printing work to a professional printer, which meant more effort and a lot more money.
About 2 months ago, I’d had enough (I must have been unable to find my P inhaler). I rang Samsung Customer Service and got really upset with the man on the phone. Every time he said, “Leave me your number and we’ll call you back”, I said “Sorry, I need you to refer me to someone who can help me right NOW”. Whenever he said, “I can’t help you”, I said, “Then give the phone to someone who can”.
I was on the phone for 2-3 hours every day for 4 days (because I had to hang up to pick up the kids or have a session with a client), until someone finally said to me, “We will send you a technician”.The savior service man arrived after 3 days (what happened to “24-hour on-site service”?). He looked at the machine and said, “This machine is a lemon. It’s from the first batch and can’t be fixed, but I have to replace everything I can before I can ask for an exchange”. So he ordered every possible part (everything but the box).
I took some of my P inhaler and waited 4 more days until another technician arrived. He replaced every possible part and said, “It would be much cheaper for Samsung to replace it than to order all these parts for nothing”. The machine happily printed vertical lines. He took everything out and put it back in again and the vertical lines were still showing.”I will send a request for exchange”, he said.
Gal and I took another dose of the P inhaler and anxiously waited for the replacement printer.
After a week of hearing nothing whatsoever from Samsung and taking breathing deeply from the P inhaler, we called Customer Service and asked “?????????”
They told us, “According to our service agreement with the service provider, the technician must come to your house 3 times and attempt to repair the printer before we can initiate a replacement”.
As hard as we tried to explain that replacing all the parts of the printer again seemed like a waste of time and money, not to mention we were still spending money printing, it took them another week to organize a third visit.
The service man came, smiled at the machine, replaced a part he had already replaced and said, “OK, I think now they will replace it”.
We took some more of our P inhaler and waited for the working printer to arrive. A week passed, yet nothing happened, so we called Samsung again.
Samsung refused to replace the printer, saying, “Our senior technicians think this printer can be fixed. We will advise your service center”.
I will not tell you all about every conversation, because writing about it makes me need more of the P inhaler, but eventually, about 4 days later, after the servicing company said it had exhausted its contractual obligations and after hours on the phone every day, Samsung said at last, “We will replace it, but it will take 4-8 weeks”.
2 weeks ago, our new printer finally arrived. Yay!
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience
exe
George-Louis de Buffon
Lesson 4
Our daughter Noff, who is 8 years old now, grew “shark teeth” about a year ago. Without her baby teeth falling, she started growing the new ones behind them.
I immediately imagined a long and expensive orthodontist treatment and that was really scary, but the dentist said, “Let’s wait”.
We used all we had in our P inhaler and waited and, what do you know, a month later, nothing happened. By coincidence, we met woman who was a dentist’s assistant and she said that when you take the front teeth out, the shark teeth reposition themselves in the right place.
Scared, yet hoping she was right, we decided to see the orthodontist who was responsible for Eden’s beautiful teeth and happy smile and he confirmed.3 weeks after the dentist took out the baby teeth, the shark teeth had repositioned themselves in the right place. Yes, only 3 weeks!
A month ago, the same thing happened again with adjacent teeth. This time, I used the inhaler only to book another meeting with the orthodontist. This month, the dentist took out two more of Noff’s teeth (nice and easy) and her back teeth are slowly moving into the right position.
Patience is bitter, but its fruits are sweet
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Lesson 5
Experiencing parenting as the most wonderful adventure in life, I so wanted my younger sisters to have their own kids. From the minute Eden was born, I wanted them to have kids, so we could experience parenting together, but 20 years passed and that did not happen.
It took one of them 38 years to find the right knight and the youngest sister 35 years. It was very disappointing and as the years passed and my mom started nagging (and boy, can she nag!), I used my inhaler many times. I used it with the reminder that they were doing the best they could to make it happen.
Last year, on my way back to Australia after a month’s visit, knowing my younger sister was pregnant and the other one was going through IVF, I promised, “I will come and see my nephews/nieces before they celebrate their first birthday”. When I promised it, I did not even consider what this year will be.
About a month later, my other sister got pregnant and from the 4th month of her pregnancy, she was in hospital with the daily threat of losing her baby. The threat was there every day for over 4 months. All that time, feeling helpless, inhaling patience every day, I waited, counting days and seconds. Every day, I talked to my sister on the phone and said, “Congratulations, one more day has passed. You’re a hero”.
On April 2nd, one of my nephews was born on the 40th week of the pregnancy. On April 3rd, the other nephew was born prematurely on the 31st week of the pregnancy.
Two weeks ago, I booked my flight tickets to see my nephews and finally share with my dear sisters my parenting experience and their parenting joy. I think after I hold them in my arms and smell them, I will be able to say that waiting was well worth it and I will recharge my P inhaler for another year.
Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy
Sadi
Lesson 6
I have already told you about my last lesson in patience after our friend Tom had his light plane accident, broke a bone in his spine and could not feel his legs. I remember the first hour in the emergency room, when the doctors told him, “It’s likely you will end up in a wheelchair” (I am inhaling while I am writing to you).
I was frustrated, helpless and scared, but I gathered all the hope I could, I took many deep breaths and said, “Everything will be fine, Tom. You and I will fly home together”.
I think uncertainty was the real disease. Every day, doctors came and said exactly the same thing, “Please take into consideration you may spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair”. I always heard it indirectly from him and his wife and felt so bad for them.
In my mind, I went back to a conversation we had with a young woman doctor who came to talk to Tom and answer all our questions just an hour before surgery.
She said, “Do not listen to anything people tell you. They know nothing at this stage. No two injuries are alike. Your spine will be swollen and limit your feeling and it takes 4 to 8 weeks for the swelling to go down. If you are committed to your rehabilitation, you will be in the best position you can”.
This conversation with the young doctor (she looked like she had just finished high school, but she was a real orthopedic surgeon) gave me lots of motivation and encouragement and I immediately used it to fill up my inhaler so that every time I came and heard about the wheelchair, I took a puff and said, “Remember what the young doctor said? Give your body 8 weeks to recover and do your exercise”.
When we came to visit Tom 3 weeks ago (3 weeks after the accident), he moved his legs although he still did not feel his toes. 2 weeks ago, he was able to lift himself from his bed to a wheelchair. This week, he started moving his toes.To be able to support him until we celebrate his full recovery in a hiking trip, I am going to need many more doses of my P inhaler, but every success helps me refill it.
Patience is the companion of wisdom
St. Augustine
As you can see, I received many rewards this month for my good use of the P inhaler. Therefore, I am going to give you the prescription and hope that you use it wisely.
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday
Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne
Your P Inhaler
Before using your P inhaler, please read this leaflet carefully and follow the instruction closely.
The P inhaler is a patience medicine proven to help millions of people around the world. Much research has been done to examine its effectiveness and it was found to bring effective relief for symptoms like stress, frustration, fear of the unknown, worry, restlessness, anxiety, challenges, difficulties, trauma, physical pain and discomfort, feeling of loss and helplessness, time pressure, depression.
It has even been shown to provide relief for anger and suicidal thoughts.
The P inhaler can be used at home to handle your partner and kids, especially when you are tired. You can use it to overcome telemarketers who call during dinnertime, to handle not having the time to read a book or to survive seeing your house in a mess.
You can use your P inhaler on the road while driving, in the queue at the supermarket, when you open your bills or for an upcoming due date, when your relationships are not quite the way you expect them to be, when you make big changes, when you feel your problems are here to stay or when trouble seems to come your way every other day.
You can use the patience inhaler when you are sick and you wonder whether to go to the doctor or not (after all, the doctor will make your flu go away in only 2 weeks, while it takes 14 days to heal on its own), when you start a new job, when you move to a new house or when you look for friends.
You can use your inhaler when you teach, when you have to explain something for the millionth time and whenever you think about giving up.
In other words, this inhaler should be useful for any reason that may come into your mind. It is a “broad spectrum” medicine and works effectively on all aspects of life.
The Patience inhaler is a self-medicating product and can be used for kids, adults and even elders without the need for consultation or prescription from any doctors.
Be Happy in LIFE Laboratories research has found that the earlier we start using the P inhaler, the less we need it later in life. Even babies can use the P inhaler, but their dose must be administered by the adults in their life by waiting one more second for Mom or Dad to pick them up from bed or feed them and keeping them busy with toys and books.
The P inhaler is personal and can be used only by the person who refills it (except babies). Instructions for refilling your inhaler are described below.
Dosage is also personal and it is advised to use as much as you feel is needed. At Be Happy in LIFE Laboratories, no major side effects have been discovered and no amount is considered to be an overdose.
There are no addictions to the P inhaler and users describe great improvements in their sleeping patterns, relationships, vitality, mood and success in life.
The effects of the patience inhaler are immediate and though there is no danger in using too much of it, it is advised to take a deep breath and count to 10 before using the second puff. This will allow the active ingredient (“P”) to kick in and save some of the precious medicine for much needed anxiety attacks.
You will discover that there is no expiry date on any of our products (except the Miserable Certificate), so you can feel free to ignore any dates. Your stored patience will never expire.
This medicine is contained in a pressurized canister. When you press down on the canister, a set amount of P is released for you to breathe into your lungs, open the airways and allows you to easily wait for something to happen by dissolving the tiny spots of stress you may feel in your chest you need to wait.
You will immediately feel you have more time and much more patience to handle any wait.
The canister has a counter to show you how many puffs of P you have used and how many doses of P you have left before you need a refill. The number of the puffs left will be shown on the window at the back of the plastic casing. Any color can be chosen for the plastic casing to increase your feeling of happiness and hope.
Use the counter to measure the level of P (patience) you have in your body and notice when your P counter drops to replace it with a full P inhaler. Aim to have a spare container with you at all times.
The P inhaler is very small and easy to carry with you at all times (even when you shower and wait for the hot water to come through the pipe). You are advised to keep one with you at all times or put it in a place where it is easy to find. You never know when you might need it.
This leaflet shows you nine simple steps to refill your P inhaler. Please study these steps carefully. It will guarantee you have enough patience to survive daily struggles and increase the effectiveness of your Patience inhaler.
How to boost your patience
Step 1: When inhaling, say “Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end” and allow hope and trust in the universe to fill your canister.
Step 2: Always imagine a happy, successful, perfect future. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the starts”. The image of getting exactly what you want has the ability to fill your P inhaler quickly.
Step 3: Whenever you feel pressure, take five deep breathes. It will bring oxygen into your brain and increase your clarity and patience. Do not react immediately to things happening around you. Stop, ask yourself, “How do I feel?” and find something positive to say.
Step 4: When you feel hurt, physically or emotionally, regardless of the degree of the pain, say, “Time heals all wounds”. At Be Happy in LIFE Laboratories, we have discovered that although it may seem like some wounds will never heal, they actually do. Just trust the universe and repeat the affirmation as many times and for as long as you need to fill your P inhaler.
Step 5: Whenever you need to wait for several days, count sleeps and mark the days on a calendar. This technique is useful for all ages. If impatience disturbs your sleep, say, “I will sleep on it”, “Tomorrow, everything will be better”, “After a good night’s sleep I will feel much better” or “If I close my eyes and sleep, I won’t feel the wait any longer”.
Step 6: Keep yourself busy doing things that distract you from looking at the watch again and again. The only way to make the hands of the clock move faster is by doing other things with your own hands you are happy about and not looking at the time. If you have to wait a week for a trip, a visit or a reply from an interview, make sure you have a huge list of things to do, include many fun things, and do them.
Step 7: Mediation is a wonderful way to refill your P inhaler. Surprisingly, when you fill your canister with mediation and a relaxed mind, you may find you do not need to use your inhaler as often.
Step 8: Faith has been found to be a great booster of patience and can refill your P inhaler very quickly. Faith is a set of beliefs and rules you follow that gives you piece of mind and confidence in your direction in life (your purpose). Find out what you believe in and make sure you have plenty of happy, encouraging, motivating beliefs. Set goals and find your life’s purpose.
Step 9: To make it easy to refill your Patience inhaler, watch your vocabulary and omit from it phrases like “I will never…” (you do not know it for sure anyway and it is poison to hope), “It’s always…” (nothing ever happens exactly the same way twice – even when we have the same experiences again, we are no longer the same), “I don’t have time…” (you have exactly the same time as everyone else, you just choose to do something else with it) and “It will take too long” (“too long” is only your perception. There are always better and faster ways to do things, but are you in a hurry to get to anywhere?).
If you have any questions about the Patience inhaler or any other products to increase happiness and wellbeing, please contact Be Happy in LIFE Laboratories and direct your question at the head pharmacist, Ronit Baras.
* Be Happy in LIFE Laboratories specialize in happiness and wellbeing
If you find this leaflet useful in any way, feel free to forward it to half of the known universe. Together, we can make this world a happy, healthy place.
The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry
John Jensen
Until next time, I wish you patience to survive your struggles and wait for happy things to happen.
Love,
Ronit
